The Art of Nixing Negativity

Photo Credit: www.denterpreneursolutions.com Pessimism is sometimes seen as a highly held virtue. To some, it is a reserved strength that eases the bitter pain of disappointment by avoiding the perceived pitfall of hope. How can one be hurt by a negative outcome if there was no expectation for anything better? Although this may be a...

Continue Reading

The Measurable Malice of Midnight

Photo Credit: Marie Higgins Candlelight flickers in the cold, dark room as I sit in bitter isolation. Outside the wind howls through the trees and I shudder as I look down at what I must do. There's a strange power one feels in the night when alone. A slight tingle crawls through the skin as you sit and ponder your next move. I...

Continue Reading

An Awkward Amount of Cereal

Photo Credit: www.dreamstime.com I'm a man of exquisite taste. When it comes to my cereal, I look upon the lavishly colored boxes as a sign of personal status and luxury. Every morning I come downstairs, I open up the pantry and take in the beautiful sight of the fashionable foods sitting neatly on the top shelf. This is the life,...

Continue Reading

Jacks' Final Journey

Photo Credit: www.pinimg.com A few years ago, I lived in a neighborhood that was less than stellar. To put it nicely, it was a rough, seedy suburban place that housed the most eccentric group of ghetto individuals I had ever witnessed. To be more concise, it was bad. Not everyone in this neighborhood exemplified the worst of mankind....

Continue Reading

Good Luck Iguana

Photo Credit: www.wikihow.com There are times when I question the sanity of life itself. Sometimes, the rules to life's crazy game make sense, but there are moments when I wonder if I was dealt a hand of UNO cards during poker night. Even though I have a brilliant rainbow of numeric art fanned out in front of me, I realize that no one...

Continue Reading

The Danger of Dating Sites

Photo Credit: Clipart Library Long before the days of my beautiful relationship, I was a lonely man looking for a feeling. My manly face and studly beard did nothing to attract the eyes of any local lady, so I decided to try something different. There were legends of couples who met magically through the portal of the internet. They...

Continue Reading

Steps to Being a Successful Detective...According to the Hardy Boys

Photo Credits: assets.howtobecome.com Today I decided to read my first Hardy Boys' book. By flipping through the old, browned pages, I began to discover a world of intrigue and thrills that kept my attention throughout most of the day. Although the book was shorter than most novels are these days, it's serial nature and the fact...

Continue Reading

The Fifth Voyage of Sinbad: Sinbad Fails to Sail

At first, I was optimistic about this piece of film. It was a pg-13 sinbad movie from a little known studio that only lasted 1 hour and 19 minutes. Short, sweet, and to the point. The only problem was that it was sweet because it was short, and there was no point to be made. It was as if the coffee boy delivering the script dropped all the pages, and because they didn't have the time or budget to put them back together, or...

Continue Reading

The Fight of the Flu

Photo Credit: www.dreamstime.com Deep in the bowels of my dorm room, I tried to sleep. My body ached and trembled as I rolled over, catching hints of peaceful rest between violent coughs and searing headaches. It all happened so fast that I was unable to see the signs. Yes, I had cold symptoms for days, but that is normal with...

Continue Reading

Call of Duty: The Day the Reaper Played

I readied myself. The battlefield was littered with soldiers, each with glowing names floating above their helmeted heads. The timer counted down. 15...I checked my weapon, it was good...10...I looked at my scorestreaks, and had everything I needed. A UAV to tell me where the enemies were, a care package to give me scorestreaks I couldn't get on my own, and a turret to take care of danger when I wasn't around. My eyes glared...

Continue Reading

Keeping eBay at Bay

Photo Credit: www.ebay.com The computer screen lights up as my eyes focus intently on the numbers in front of me. Hmm, that is too expensive, must scroll down. Images of xbox games slide up my screen, begging me to buy them with red numbers ticking down the seconds till their departure. This is probably the last thing I'll buy,...

Continue Reading

Surveys: The Art of Natural Selection

Photo Credit: www.epcc.ed.ac.uk My opinion is important to me. It is flexible, but firm like a river. You can interact with my ideas by swimming around in my cerebral thought life, or you could crush yourself against the innate resistance to unnecessary and forced conflict of interest. I am not a fan of arguments, and will avoid them...

Continue Reading

Zit Happens

Look, we need to talk. I know that during the beginning of my hormonal development some years ago, you and your buddies had domain over my facial real estate. You didn't pay rent, you trashed the place, and you tried to encourage every female I laid eyes upon to look away because of your rude, pronounced presence on my skin. Of course, being a somewhat scientific individual, I knew that it was normal. While my body was...

Continue Reading

Risk: The Game of Champions

Photo Credit: Parker Bros and Hasbro I gathered my plastic pieces and lined them up on the outskirts of Earth's atmosphere. My eyes looked upon the face of the continents as I imagined the whole world being mine. Two other armies entered the battle plans, as they dropped soldiers down on different countries one by one. Finally,...

Continue Reading

Jomishu Part 1: A Hairy Situation

Psst. Hey. You there. Yes, you. Come here. Let me tell you a secret. Actually, let me first give you a name to address me by, then the secret, as long as you keep a secret about my name. Promise? Okay. Good, we are getting somewhere. I'm Bartholomew. I'm a professional thinker, genius, and gentleman. My humility is also one of the best qualities about me, in case you didn't notice. Did you notice? Of course you did. Now, back...

Continue Reading